Parents Are Bankrolling Their Grown Children Well Into Adulthood

Mabel Lago and her husband are retired and in their 70s. When they decided to move from New Jersey to South Carolina this year, they first checked with their younger son — because he was still living with them, at age 39.

"We could not leave him behind, because he could not afford to live on his own," Lago said.

Her son works managing a liquor store, a job she said paid low wages and no benefits. He also has Type 1 diabetes, and his Affordable Care Act insurance ran nearly $1,000 a month. He moved south with his parents, where his plan is far cheaper, but he has not yet landed a new job.

"The young people have really been shafted, big time, with the economy, with the cost of living," Lago said.

She is among a majority of Americans who, according to polls, believe financial independence is harder for young adults today than it was for their parents — a view that has grown sharply as prices for housing, food and energy have climbed and inflation has stayed elevated.

The numbers

The share of 25- to 34-year-olds living with parents has nearly doubled since 2005, to about 20%, according to the Urban Institute. One analysis found a third of all Americans under 35 are living back at home, just shy of the record peak during the COVID-19 pandemic, even though most are employed.

An AARP survey last year found 75% of parents across income levels help support adult children in some way — cellphone and Wi-Fi bills, transportation, rent, or straight cash — averaging $7,000 a year.

"What's striking is that so many of the people we see in our survey actually were living independently for a while and then went back in with their parents, primarily because of financial pressures," said Richard Johnson, who leads a financial security policy team at AARP. Most parents said they give because they want to, but many lower-income families said they help even though it hurts their own finances.

"When people have to divert what little resources they have to help their children, and they can't put it toward retirement, that jeopardizes their own financial futures," Johnson said.

'A different economic landscape'

"Young adults are kind of coming of age in a different economic landscape than their parents did," said Rachel Minkin, a researcher at the Pew Research Center. A Pew survey this year found a growing majority say it is harder now to find a job, pay for college, buy a home and save. Asked a new question, 80% agreed that "it's harder for young adults today to cover basic expenses," Minkin said.

A 2024 Pew analysis found young adults are more likely to carry student loan debt than three decades ago. The share with mortgage debt was about the same, but the median amount, adjusted for inflation, was larger.

Nate Kinzinger, a wealth manager affiliated with Northwestern Mutual, said he has had clients delay retirement in part to keep supporting adult children, and so many have taken on student loan payments that he now advises families to weigh the "return on investment" of a field of study.

"There's usually some degree of guilt," he said. Some keep making payments after retiring without realizing they will need the money. Northwestern Mutual's own survey this year found 42% of Americans still feel financially dependent on their parents, including a third of Gen Xers, now middle-aged. "That was a bit of a shocking number," Kinzinger said.

The Lagos built their 1,500-square-foot retirement home slightly larger to include a bedroom for their son, and gave part of their land to their older son, 43, who has a well-paying job but could not buy a house on a single income. He built next door with money his parents gave him from their own inheritance. As gas and food prices spiked this year, the couple cut back on driving and stopped eating beef.

"Did we plan for that when we had our children 40 years ago? No," Lago said. "Do we plan for that now? Yes, we have to."